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Oh, wow.

18/12/2009

I had an idea – I had, that is, some kind of a clue as to how involved starting a new business of a retail nature would be. But that all goes out the window, really, when you actually get down to it. The reality of the situation is absolutely nothing like the fantasies that danced in my mind whilst still doodling lovely images of shopfronts in my sketchbooks accompanied by wafting, lone adjectives in cursive lettering. I was seeing movie montages with a So Frenchy So Chic soundtrack, à la Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors starting her own boutique PR agency, looking effortlessly, hip-ly late-nineties in her ‘painting clothes’, every lock of hair perfectly, and precisely out of place. Yup. In my mind I was toiling away, crunching figures in spreadsheets until 3am, wiping (somehow) glamorous beads of perspiration from my brow and pouring myself the rare (hah!), cheeky dram of Scotch before flopping back, delirious, exhilarated (and impossibly sexy) into bed, only to admire the form of my sleeping husband, and counting each and every one of my thousand blessings before I drift off into a heaven-sent slumber. Camera pans across the room, stopping in the doorway, lingering on the quiet, almost Zen-like image of the cat, asleep in the moonlight.

Yeah.

Instead, on the top of my to-do list is:

1. File shit piling up around my desk, and chuck shit out I don’t need.

2. Create some sort of F&*king filing system for f&*king files cluttering up your f&*king computer desktop.

3. Everything else.

Honestly it is exhilarating, terrifying, wonderful, exhausting. All that. It’s overwhelming and beautiful, and somehow so… natural. Not easy, by any stretch of the imagination, and yes, often quite stressful, but I’ve become inexplicably peaceful about the whole thing. I can only do what I can do right now, and the rest will have to wait until later/tomorrow/after I get out of class/until I’m in front of my computer again. If only I had had that kind of mental self-control across any the last five shows I’ve done.

All of which is to say that I will be absconding for a while from here again, but certainly not forever. A mini-break, if you like.

And yes, I’ll be starting a blog for the new business, too. Which will, oui, be my erm… gazillionth blog. (The act of creating a blog is, in and of itself, quite wonderful and exciting, you know…) I’ll let you know when it’s up.

In the meantime, I’m off to buy some très agéable pop Française from iTunes, pour myself the rare dram, and tick some items of my big, bad To Do List… Chouette.

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